Morning Inty! Nice to see you! What a pleasant surprise! I was just thinking of you! Specifically, one of JJ’s favourite things to download from you. Software updates! It’s so exciting! Its free! What new features will I get!? How much better will the program work!? Will it have a new look!? It’s like Christmas! And when I download an update and it doesn’t work for some reason (Microsoft, I am looking at you!)….devastation. All that excitement and anticipation…then…zippo. Then need to search on the internet (you!) and spend the next couple of hours figuring out why it didn’t work, if I can (Why is it not recognizing that I need this fucking service pack!!!! ARGGHHH!! Murder!!!!!). Although curiously there seems to less issues now that we have a Mac. Coincidence…?
But you know what updates I love the best? Anti-virus updates. You know how it makes me feel? Like this:
I can see in my mind all these bad guys out there solely dedicated to trying to break (“hackers!” JJ is down with the lingo!) into my computer. Because I am pretty sure that is how it works. And then imagining these jerkfaces being turned away because my vigilance in getting my last update! Ha ha! And you know what I say to myself when I think of it? No, not “You shall not pass!” Although that would be pretty good. (And then if I did download a virus I could say “Fly, you fools!”. To myself. I’m so cool.) So what do I think of? Well, did you ever see the “Pepsi Club” commercial with Robert Stack? No? I don’t blame you, it was 14 years ago! But lucky for you I have embedded it below! At the 23 second mark, as Robert Stack defeats some would-be Pepsi thieves (with the help of his Pepsi club) you know what he says? You guessed it! “Not Today!!”
It’s perfect. He was was such a bad ass. I’m right, right? I’m right.
And that the story of how I came to say what I say to all those a-holes trying to steal my identity and whatnot!
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!!!!!!!