Excuse me, ma'am...whuuutt???
Howdy Inty! How do you like that headline? Good, right? Just like your local news station, right? "Stay tuned! Coming up, what you need to know!" Right?
You into the sex toys at all, Inty? Well, me neither! Missionary position only! Right!? And who left those lights on!? Right!?
Well not withstanding my extreme prudishness, I am partial to listening to Dan Savage's Lovecast. It's a podcast. About sexytime! He answers questions!
Well, he had a guest on the other day. Jennifer Pritchett, owner of "Smitten Kitten" a sex-type store in Minneapolis.
And what was she there to talk about? Sex toys, of course! She also talks about them on the shop's own website:
Look. You can watch it or not. Or you can watch it and say "Whatevs! Just some small joint in Minny! Who cares!?"
But of course there is also this Greenpeace study in the Netherlands that says basically the same thing. Except that that study doesn't contain the eyewitness evidence of the "sweating" sex toys. And the references to "burning and irritation". (Yikes!)
You don't want to look at either one? That's fine! Coles Notes summary!: a lot of Jelly-type sex toys contain up to 50% pthalates. "Pthallates"? What der heck is that, you may be asking. Well, pthalates are a substance the has been banned in a lot of childrens toys. Why? Well, because:
Other illnesses are now being associated with exposure to phthalates, including heart disease, behavioral problems in children and asthma.
Yes! That is exactly what people should be putting inside their bodies!! Now I know, I know. You are saying "But JJ, how could such a thing happen in either the US or Canada, countries with so many consumer safeguards?" Well, sex toys are classified as "novelty" items, and not regulated at all. So your next question, I am sure, is "Well, even if its an unregulated industry, can't we rely on industry not to try and get us to purchase items that may poison people?" I know, right!? (Takes drag from cigarette) That is usually foolproof, but in this one instance, doesn't seem to have worked.
So Inty, if you ever DO consider buying one of these toys, maybe do like the lady says. Maybe get something made from silicone - eschew the jelly.
Hard-hitting expose done!